Everything is a person

Interview with Durandal, a very old sword belonging to King Arthur. Durandal is one of two main swords of King Arthur and a close friend of Excalibur.

You are a magical object, aren't you?

(smiles) Yes, I am a very magical object.

What are your magical powers?

Ah, hmm, I can kill with my shine, and I kill with Poison of Goodness, that's what it's called, large letters...

And what is it, this poison?

Eh, hmm, it's a power of goodness, it poisons all immorals.

Anything else?

Well, I can grow, I can be horribly large, and... I can become an arrow, it is possible to shoot me, and I can become... I can assume a structure of a shadow.

I see. It is somewhat of a secret that all objects are human beings. People can't communicate with you because you are hidden by technical invisibility. Or do you like being a secret?

I hate to be a secret, I hate it. It has no right to be a secret. It is a sacred thing, sacred fact, that everything has a soul, that everything is a person.

You are a creature of utensil species, right?

(smiles) Yes.

What is the culture of utensils like?

Oh, it is a lovely culture. I am very happy I am such a species. We are very social, helpfulness is... is... the most important aspect of this culture. We love people, normal people. We all want to be visible to them entirely. We work on it, so that people could finally know us truly, because we are a culture of help, of aid.

Right. You are a very famous sword. Do you feel the weight of fame in your life?

No, I don't, I wish I could. It could be something different in my life.

Who are your closest friends?

Other utensils, especially weapons. I don't keep in touch with other species, because I am invisible to many human beings.

And you are a sword belonging to King Arthur. And in contemporary times it is lied that you are a sword of Roland, and King Arthur owns Excalibur. When in fact it is the other way around. Did you know about these lies?

Yes, I know about them, and I hate them. Criminals who changed these facts wanted to strip people, strip knights, of their power, of their strength. It's an old trick, an old sabotage, to exchange a person's weapon to somebody else's weapon, a very old crime it is. Sometimes done before battles by... by burglars into war camps.

How well do you know King Arthur?

Very well. I fought with many of his incarnations already, he is a very good friend, although these days I don't have contact with any of his incarnations.

How old are you?

Ah... (laughs) I am 900 years old, that's my real age.

And who is your creator?

I was made in a Smithery of the Titans... large letters. I was built by Master of Swords, his name is... (pauses) secret, actually.

Any details of your creation?

Hmm, I'm built of silver, and I was built at dawn, and sun's rays were used as material, which is why I kill with my shine.

Have you taken part in many wars?

Well, yes, actually, there has always been one war in the world, the war with evil. But it had stages, and I took part in many such stages, and I saw many victories, and made many victories.

What's the biggest adventure that you've had?

Ah... (laughs) I... It was with King Arthur, we were time travelled by force into early ancient times, early ancient era, and we were approached by two women who complained that their daughters had been kidnapped. And it was funny because they said they are worried about the kidnappers, because their daughters are very fierce. Anyway, we said we'll help. And the adventure was long, because the kidnappers were large in numbers, and they kidnapped the daughters to take them to Arabia and marry them to their leader, their ruler. And we had to kill all of them, and we had to track them down, and travel after them, on land and on sea, so it lasted for a long time. And it ended well.

What do you want to do in the future? 

In the future I want to be with King Arthur again and help him win against evil. Culture of weapons is very wonderful. I long to be with my weapon friends and become a part of a successful war with evil.

Do you have a family?

Yes, I have six children, they are all weapons, created magically out of weathers.

I see. In contemporary times it is lied that swords are not as good as bullet guns, and that they are an outdated weapon type. What do you think about it?

I know about this lie, it's so stupid. First of all, bullet guns are of bow type, they are types of bows, and swords are of knife type, and these two types are equal. So we are never outdated, we swords. How do you imagine fighting at a very close distance with a bullet gun? It's ridiculous.

Yes, that's true. Well, anyway, thank you for the interview very much.

Thank you.

25 October 2020

Interview no. 9